Q: Why does your music seem to glorify murder, suicide, violence, profanity, insanity, depression, drunk driving, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, serial killers, and Satanism?

A: Because we're evil.


Q: Does Hidden Agenda worship Satan?

A: Actually, Satan worships us.


Q: When will Hidden Agenda go on tour?

A: As soon as we've finished building giant animatronic puppets of ourselves to go on tour for us.


Q: What are your favorite song titles?

A: "Kurt Cobain is Dead and I Wish It Were You" and "Hell Orgy of the Screaming Bloodfreaks"


Q; Does the title "Kurt Cobain is Dead and I Wish It Were You" refer to Courtney Love?

A: No.

Q: Then who is it that you want dead?

A: Anyone who's listening to the song.

Q: What if Courtney Love is listening to it?

A: Shut up!


Q: Is Hidden Agenda racist, sexist and/or homophobic?

A: No, we like to hate people as individuals.


Q: Why haven't you included any photos of the band with your publicity materials?

A: Because our faces scare small children.


Q: Why haven't you included any personal information about the band members?

A: To make it that much harder for the lynch mob to find us.


Q: Where do you see yourselves five years from now?

A: In a federal prison.


Q: Is it true that Goober used to work in the band Pavement?

A: No, Goober used to work building pavement.


Q: How many guns do the band members own?

A: 34, at last count. List available upon request.


Q: What's your favorite Hip-Hop TV show?



Q; Do you hate the French?

A: Who doesn't?


Q: How many Austin Musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A1: Eight. One to change the bulb, and seven to go "I could do that."

A2: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to talk about how much better the light bulbs were at the Armadillo World Headquarters.


Q: What musician has inspired you more than any other?

A: William Shatner.


Q: Is it true that your music offends the Religious Right?

A: We wish. We keep trying, but they just keep ignoring us. We released a song called "Kill Yourself for Satan," but did they notice? Noooo! But some boho New York art fag throws a bunch of dung on a picture of the Virgin Mary and suddenly they throw a full-bore hissy fit! It just isn't fair!


Q: Have you released any songs that offend Muslims or Latinos?

A: We're working on it.


Q: Have you done any music that sounds like Nine Inch Nails?

A: Yes, but not so warm and funny.


Q: Do you have a traditional, feel-good jazz tune on any of these albums?

A: Yes.

Q: What's it called?

A: "I'm Gonna Make You My Bitch"


Q: Were any of your songs available on Napster?

A: Yes, but all of them were actually copies of "Achy Breaky Heart."


Q: Do any of the band members use drugs?

A: I hate it when giant luminous pigs eat my toothpaste.


Q: What's the shortest song you've recorded?

A: "Busload of Nuns." It's eight seconds long.


Q: Teddyrabbits and Bunnybears is subtitled "Songs for Children." Wouldn't children find the content disturbing?

A: We certainly hope so.


Q: How many of your songs feature serial killers?

A: Define "serial killer."

Q: Oh, I don't know, just guess.

A: Four to eight, depending. It's hard to keep count.

Q: Who's your favorite serial killer?

A: Charles Joseph Whitman. He won't be an architect no more.


Q: Is it true that you used a real homeless alcoholic to record "She Stole My Squid"?

A: I'm sorry, but that's a trade secret.

Q: What have you done to help the homeless?

A: We've given them beer.


Q: You say that some of your music is "funny." Is that funny "ha ha" or funny "strange"?

A: Yes.


Q: Are there any of your songs that I can play in front of normal people without getting sued?

A: "The Silence," "Endgame," and "Also Surf Zarathustra" contain no lyrics. "Think I'll Wear Black Again Today" is probably safe too.

Sponsored by the Natasfosuna Corporation for the Morally Corrupt