Q: Why does your music seem to glorify murder, suicide, violence, profanity, insanity, depression, drunk driving, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, serial killers, and Satanism?
A: Because we're evil.
Q: Does Hidden Agenda worship Satan?
A: Actually, Satan worships us.
Q: When will Hidden Agenda go on tour?
A: As soon as we've finished building giant animatronic puppets of ourselves to go on tour for us.
Q: What are your favorite song titles?
A: "Kurt Cobain is Dead and I Wish It Were You" and "Hell Orgy of the Screaming Bloodfreaks"
Q; Does the title "Kurt Cobain is Dead and I Wish It Were You" refer to Courtney Love?
Q: Then who is it that you want dead?
A: Anyone who's listening to the song.
Q: What if Courtney Love is listening to it?
A: Shut up!
Q: Is Hidden Agenda racist, sexist and/or homophobic?
A: No, we like to hate people as individuals.
Q: Why haven't you included any photos of the band with your publicity materials?
A: Because our faces scare small children.
Q: Why haven't you included any personal information about the band members?
A: To make it that much harder for the lynch mob to find us.
Q: Where do you see yourselves five years from now?
A: In a federal prison.
Q: Is it true that Goober used to work in the band Pavement?
A: No, Goober used to work building pavement.
Q: How many guns do the band members own?
A: 34, at last count. List available upon request.
Q: What's your favorite Hip-Hop TV show?
Q; Do you hate the French?
A: Who doesn't?
Q: How many Austin Musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: Eight. One to change the bulb, and seven to go "I could do that."
A2: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to talk about how much better the light bulbs were at the Armadillo World Headquarters.
Q: What musician has inspired you more than any other?
A: William Shatner.
Q: Is it true that your music offends the Religious Right?
A: We wish. We keep trying, but they just keep ignoring us. We released a song called "Kill Yourself for Satan," but did they notice? Noooo! But some boho New York art fag throws a bunch of dung on a picture of the Virgin Mary and suddenly they throw a full-bore hissy fit! It just isn't fair!
Q: Have you released any songs that offend Muslims or Latinos?
A: We're working on it.
Q: Have you done any music that sounds like Nine Inch Nails?
A: Yes, but not so warm and funny.
Q: Do you have a traditional, feel-good jazz tune on any of these albums?
Q: What's it called?
A: "I'm Gonna Make You My Bitch"
Q: Were any of your songs available on Napster?
A: Yes, but all of them were actually copies of "Achy Breaky Heart."
Q: Do any of the band members use drugs?
A: I hate it when giant luminous pigs eat my toothpaste.
Q: What's the shortest song you've recorded?
A: "Busload of Nuns." It's eight seconds long.
Q: Teddyrabbits and Bunnybears is subtitled "Songs for Children." Wouldn't children find the content disturbing?
A: We certainly hope so.
Q: How many of your songs feature serial killers?
A: Define "serial killer."
Q: Oh, I don't know, just guess.
A: Four to eight, depending. It's hard to keep count.
Q: Who's your favorite serial killer?
A: Charles Joseph Whitman. He won't be an architect no more.
Q: Is it true that you used a real homeless alcoholic to record "She Stole My Squid"?
A: I'm sorry, but that's a trade secret.
Q: What have you done to help the homeless?
A: We've given them beer.
Q: You say that some of your music is "funny." Is that funny "ha ha" or funny "strange"?
Q: Are there any of your songs that I can play in front of normal people without getting sued?
A: "The Silence," "Endgame," and "Also Surf Zarathustra" contain no lyrics. "Think I'll Wear Black Again Today" is probably safe too.